This past weekend we invited two new families over to the house to eat pizza and hang out. We met them at a home schooling “swim and gym” program at the local YMCA. Sure enough, it wasn’t 20 minutes into the night before my wife and I were sharing all our most embarrassing stories. I’m talking about experiences that have something to do with body fluids. Of course, we talked about pregnancy and labour. That’s always fun. Labour presents plenty of moments for indignity. However, those stories are for my wife to tell. Well…maybe I’ll tell you about something my wife said in labour that always brings a smile to my face. As you probably know, after the baby is delivered, the woman has to then give birth to the placenta. This can be painful and certainly anticlimactic. The baby is out and just when you think this nightmare is over, you have to do it again with the placenta. After giving birth to our first child, my wife started feeling the contractions to deliver the placenta. The doctor encouraged her to push again. Tamara, knowing that this wasn’t going to feel very good, said, “no, please, let’s just leave it in and I’ll use it next time.”
We did tell our new friends from the weekend about my most embarrassing moment. It happened several years ago. I had just started our first house church. We had everybody over for a Christmas party. After a night of great fellowship and lots of food, people started feeling very comfortable and relaxed. That didn’t last long. Their host and fearless leader would soon terrify them all, etching into their minds a scene that no one will ever forget. It happened when one of our guests shared a joke with us all. This was a joke that he had told me only 4 days previously. Upon hearing this joke the second time, I realized that I didn’t get the punchline the first time, and now I did. I started to laugh…and laugh…and laugh. I laughed so hard, much harder than the joke deserved. In fact, I laughed so hard that I started vomiting all over myself.
There was instant chaos. Our guests were running all over the room, covering their mouths, heaving and looking for something to catch their own puke in the event that this thing might break out into an epidemic. Fortunately, I was the only casualty. I felt like an idiot. I folded my shirt to keep everything together. I walked upstairs to our bathroom. I ran the shower and stood under it fully clothed for 15 minutes, until all traces of the offensive fluid (and my shame) was gone. Years later, all those who were in the room that day still share a special bond. There’s nothing quite like puking on yourself in front of others that creates a sense of intimacy and community.
Well, I hope our new friends weren’t scared away by our transparency.
funniest stories I’ve heard in ages! Man you don’t ever have to worry when you’re having a tough crowd speaking.. Recycling placenta’s, vomit on Christmas dinner are a guarantee for some earthquake response!
As one of the guests mentioned in above blog post…I can say your transparency only encourages us…to delve deeper into this friendship and find the real good hidden gems.
Be encouraged that I laughed just as hard reading about your recollection of our evening now as I did on friday, You were gracious hosts and make a killer pizza.
I am envious of your wife’s material possessions (no really-the material…)